How to fix the most common problems in sex

They are real headaches for many couples. Sexologists insist that the most important thing is trust and communication when dealing with them.

As a general rule, when you suffer a problem of a sexual nature you tend to believe that you are the only one. There are many prejudices associated with such an exciting activity that many see in the need to contact sexologists and therapists since the consequences on their self-esteem can be serious. First of all, tranquility: everything can be solved, you just have to have confidence in yourself and good communication with your sexual partner.

For there to be a satisfactory relationship within the bedroom, it must begin "outside the bedroom," that is, in daily life.

One of the ideas most shared by sexologists is that sex is not only a physical act but also a psychological one. The mood, stress levels and even what you eat affects as much or more than your physical qualities. For example, having erectile dysfunction is much more common in young people than is believed, and "almost always a psychological problem," as some experts recognized.

"If you are very nervous or excited, it means that your body is not giving the genitals the priority they deserve, instead, you are focused on responding in a fugitive or defensive manner"; explains a user. "To this is added the pressure that many men feel when it comes to consummating their first time with a person. The nerves play a trick. To counteract all this, the best thing is to try to relax with your partner, give yourself all the time you need to feel comfortable with it, do not rush or you'll end up too excited."

Many of my patients have ended up saving their sexual relations thanks to communication with their partner.

Others put in vogue that for there to be a sexually satisfying relationship within the bedroom, it must begin "outside the bedroom," with special emphasis on communication. If you know first hand what your partner wants and the fantasies you want to put into practice (many times they do not just go through how you understand a sexual relationship), you will surely know better how to proceed and you will also realize that it was not as difficult as you supposed at first. In addition, it will strengthen your confidence, which will undoubtedly make the experience better.

"Many of my patients have ended up saving their sexual relations thanks to communication with their partner," explains one of the forum's commentators. "Personally, I do not only find it beneficial but necessary. Open the channels of communication about what you think is important, without a doubt it will allow you to enjoy much more satisfying sexual relations".

Before starting, ask yourself if you really want to sleep with the other person at that same time and place.

There are problems that are rooted in a lack of confidence or self-esteem, but there are even more serious. This is the case of those people who have a trauma due to a very unpleasant past event, such as sexual abuse. "The first thing you should keep in mind when you face traumatic thoughts is that your brain and your body are doing everything possible to protect you," one of the sexologists stressed. "Once you're able to make these two parties know where the trauma is coming from and how it affects you mentally and physically, you're going to notice improvement." The best advice is to be patient with yourself, not force yourself, Take it easy and concentrate on paying attention to all the moments in which you think you can reproduce the traumatic scene. He knows about what triggers him and the typical experiences in which he manifests."

The greatest conflict that can exist in sexual relationships is that there is an imbalance in the impulses. In fact, according to another expert, it occurs in most couples. "Ask yourself if you really want to sleep with the other person at the same time and place," says an anonymous user. "If the answer is yes, go ahead, but if not, the best thing is that you talk to your partner to tell him what you really want to do." Actually, the libido does not come up every day. Sometimes it is better not to have to do it to go wrong.

But do not chronicle these episodes either, since the other person may feel hurt or despised if you are continually rejecting them. "Almost always one of the two has more desire than the other," concludes another sexologist. "But you have to be careful with how you manage this so that the other does not feel that he has lost his attractiveness, he does not like you anymore or you do it just out of compassion." Again, we return to communication: be honest and try to open yourself as much as possible and, above all, say things tactfully so as not to hurt the other person.